The visit to see my Physician only confirmed my
self-diagnosis. “You have leprosy.” The statement did not frighten me in the physical
sense for I knew it was not my flesh he was talking about. The far greater
concern in his voice echoed mine, though, knowing it was my spirit he was
referring to.
I had been unable to ‘feel’ for some time. It seemed like my
spiritual receptors were dull, and in the case with leprosy, may even have
fallen off. I felt alienated from others who could feel, ‘sense the Spirit,’
and it seemed my only comrades were those who were afflicted with the same
disease I was. Further and further into despair I sank knowing that there was
no way out of the abyss. More and more I missed those whose senses were
functioning and I found myself longing for just a few words with them. Maybe then
I could be encouraged enough to bring light to those afflicted with the same
darkness I continued to live in. alas, nothing but solitude. No one was there
except a few who were like Job’s friends, encouraging me with sad tales of
their own, but not helping me out of the hole.
The worst part was that it felt like recent visits with the
Physician had become remote. I wasn’t hoping for much with this visit
but, thankfully, this time proved different. As I absorbed his confirmation of
my condition, I noticed a verse posted on the office wall, no doubt written by
Him. “Come unto me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn of Me for I am meek and lowly of heart.” That
is beautiful, I thought, but how can I when I am as unfeeling as this: how can
I learn when I cannot turn the pages because of the numbness in me?
Below the plaque hung a short clipping taken from an
article. A story of a man who experienced with the physical form of what my
spirit was now afflicted:
“A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, ‘Lord,
if you are willing, you can make me clean.’
“Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. ‘I am
willing,’ he said. ‘Be clean!’ Immediately he was cured of his leprosy…”
Under my breath I repeated the words, “Lord, if you are
willing, you can make me clean.”
My Physician looked up from his desk where he was completing
the paperwork of my visit. I was surprised to hear him say, “I am willing. Be
clean!” He laughed as he stood up, closing my file with hands that were no
strangers to hard work. For the first time I noticed blood flowing from wounds
in them, covering the document. As each word was touched by the blood, it
disappeared as if it had never been written.
A flash of sensation pulsed through my inner being, not
stopping at the boundaries of my flesh, but reaching out to the depths of My
Healer and His depths reaching back to me.
“I’m clean!” I breathed, “I’m clean!”
